Why Good Enough Beats Perfect in the Dating Game
You keep swiping because you're sure someone better is one profile away. Here's why good enough on Head, Heart, and Hoo-ha beats hunting for a 10, and how to know by date three.
Read morePrimary Blog topic
Boundaries
View all entries
How to Communicate in a Relationship: Laurie Gerber's Complete Guide
If you keep having the same fight, or you swallow what you need to say because you are afraid of scaring him off, communication is probably the real issue. In this guide, I break down how to be honest earlier, listen without preparing your defense, apologize in a way that…
Read more
You’re Not a Gold Digger
Are your dating standards protecting you, or are they keeping you single? In this mailbag episode, Laurie answers six real listener questions about trauma and attraction, “wife appliance” fears, eight-out-of-ten chemistry, height and income filters, introvert compatibility, and…
Read more
3 Signs a Recently Divorced Man Is Ready to Date
Dating a divorced man means his former marriage, ex, and family dynamics may come with him. But those complications do not automatically mean he is unavailable. These three green flags show whether he has actually healed, knows what he wants, and can build a serious relationship…
Read more
Sex and Intimacy After 50: The Complete Guide
Desire does not disappear after 50. But your body, confidence, and needs may change. This candid guide covers menopause, libido, body image, erectile dysfunction, sexual health, and the conversations that make intimacy better. If you are ready to stop treating this part of life…
Read more
First Dates After 50: The Complete Guide to Early Dating
If you're over 50 and standing at the edge of dating again, first dates feel enormous. More than they did at 30. More than they probably should. That's because at this age, you know things. You know what a bad relationship costs. You know how fast years go. You know you're not…
Read more
5 Telltale Signs of Relationship Incompatibility
You matched on a dating app, or maybe a friend set you up, and the first date felt promising enough to keep going. For a minute, you let yourself hope this could be it. Then a few weeks in, something feels off. You can't quite name it, but the excitement fades faster than it…
Read more
She Left a 25-Year Marriage at 50 and Made Every Dating Mistake in the Book
In today’s Love at Any Age episode, I sit down with Silke Schwarzkopf, creator and host of Second Act TV, who left a 25-year marriage at 50 and made every classic midlife dating mistake there is. After 1 internal shift, she met Paul on Match.com, and they have been together for…
Read more
Are There Securely Attached People on Dating Apps? (And How Do You Find Them?)
If you've spent more than ten minutes on online dating apps, you may have asked yourself: "Are there any emotionally healthy people on here at all?" Fair question. Because sometimes dating apps can feel like a strange social experiment where 1 person wants a soulmate, another…
Read more
Living Apart Together: Is It the Right Choice for You?
The number one concern I hear from many daters is: there are not enough eligible people where I live. My heart goes out to you. It's enough to make you give up altogether. On the other hand, I meet happy couples every day who started (or even remained) in a long-distance…
Read more
How to Stop Settling in Relationships and Finally Date Like a Woman of Value Over 50
In today's Love at Any Age episode, I sit down with Sandy Weiner, founder of Last First Date and author of 3 books, including her newest collection of real love success stories. We dig into one of the most misunderstood concepts in dating: knowing your worth. Sandy made a…
Read more
How to Stop Repeating Old Relationship Patterns
Here's a story I've heard a hundred times. A woman finally gets out of an unhappy marriage. She promises herself: this time, things will be different. She gets back in the dating game, meets someone new, and then, slowly, a familiar feeling creeps in. Same fights. Same dynamic.…
Read more
The Complete Guide to Finding Love Again After 50
I've helped hundreds of women through this exact moment: standing at the edge of the dating pool, wondering whether the water is too cold, whether anyone will even be there, whether you are somehow too late.
Read more
The Second Date Mistakes That Cost You the Relationship
You got the second date, so why does it feel like something keeps going sideways before date three? In today's Love at Any Age episode, I'm breaking down the 3 most common second date mistakes that quietly tank real connection, and why most people make them without even…
Read more
Attracting The Wrong Men After 50? The Real Reason
If you are a smart, self-aware woman who has done the inner work and still ended up in a romantic relationship that looks exactly like the last one, hear this: you are not broken. You are unconsciously running a pattern. And patterns can be changed. Dating over 50 brings a…
Read more
Dating After Divorce: What Really Works Over 50
If you've been staring at your divorce papers, wondering whether your window for love has closed, I have someone I want you to meet. I recently sat down with Lauren Handel Zander. She's the creator of the Handel Method, my former boss, my mentor, and the woman whose framework…
Read more
Where Are the Good Men?
I hear this every week. “Laurie, where are the good men?” "I can't seem to find any." "I don't think there are any good ones left." "All the good ones are taken." "I've been on the dating apps, and there are none there. Where are they?"
Read more
Are You Sending Mixed Signals? 7 Things Women Say They Want and What They Really Mean
What men say—over and over—is that women tend to speak in signals instead of just asking directly for what they want. And here’s the uncomfortable truth: most women aren’t doing that on purpose. They’re doing it because they don’t actually know what they want yet.
Read more
5 Dating Mistakes Women Over 50 Still Make — And How to Stop Them Fast
If you are dating over 50, here is the good news. Dating can actually get better with age. Not easier. But better.
Read more
The "One" Didn’t Get Away: Letting Go and Moving Forward
First of all, there is no ONE “the one.” Second of all, this notion that your "one" got away, whether because: He picked someone else You picked someone else He had an insurmountable issue He died As a relationship coach, I can tell you: It just isn’t true.
Read more
4 Types of Questions to ask on the First Date
If you’re dating again after 50, the first thing to remember is this: chemistry is not the only thing that matters. You can have a good time, enjoy the small talk, even feel sparks on a first date, and still end up with a partner who is all wrong for the kind of life you…
Read more
The 3-Date Strategy: Key Signs He’s the Right Guy After 50
If you’re back in the dating world after 50, you already know what’s changed. There are more options, more confusion, more false starts, and more ways to lose time with someone who was never really right for you. What I want for you instead is clarity. Not eventually. Not after…
Read more
How to Know What You Want in Love After 50
If you’ve ever thought, “I don’t even know what I want anymore,” you’re not alone. That moment usually comes after a lot of heartbreaks, compromises, and the quiet realization that your love life didn’t turn out the way you once imagined.
Read more
The Secret Reason You're Not Ready for Love: How to Detox from Your Past Relationships
If dating feels like the same movie playing over and over—same type of person, same disappointment, same ending—you’re not imagining it. And no, this is not because you’re “bad at dating.” It’s not because the dating pool dried up. It’s not because you waited too long. What’s…
Read more
The One Pattern That Subconsciously Wrecks Midlife Dating (and How to Stop It) 💥
If you keep dating the same types of men… It’s not because you’re “bad at dating.” Even if you're in midlife or beyond, you haven't "missed your window." And as I say in my podcast "Love at Any Age", love has no expiration date.
Read more
Self-Love After 50: 6 Hidden Obstacles That Block Love
If you’re thinking about dating again after a long time — or maybe you’re wondering whether you even want to try — I want to start by saying this: there is no expiration date on love. You are not too late.
Read more
New Year, New Love: How to Make Your Love Resolutions Actually Work
If you’re heading into the New Year thinking, “I want love… but I’m not sure how to get it,” this episode is for you. In Episode 10 of Love at Any Age, we’re continuing the self-love series and looking at the other big obstacles that sabotage dating: bad habits, family dynamics,…
Read more
Ready to date again after 50? Laurie Gerber shares 10 practical, soulful steps to prepare your head, heart, and hoo-ha for real love—starting now.
If you’re over 50 and thinking about dating again—whether it’s been a few months, or a few decades, or since your last heartbreak—it’s time to get intentional. No more winging it, hoping for chemistry, or letting the dating apps decide your fate. You get to do this your way:…
Read more
Dating Over 50: 8 Unrealistic Expectations That Keep You Single — And How to Shift Them
If you’re dating over 50 and wondering why it feels harder than ever to find your person, you’re not imagining it. The dating landscape has changed — and so have we. You’ve lived, loved, raised kids, maybe divorced, maybe lost a partner. You’ve learned a lot about yourself. But…
Read more
Giving Thanks for Past Loves: How Gratitude Heals the Heart
In this season of thanks-giving, I am going to lay out an unpopular opinion: Every choice in love you’ve made in the past has been in your best interest! "What, Laurie?" You must be asking yourself if I’ve gone off the deep end.
Read more
Body Image and Dating Over 50: What’s Really Holding You Back
In response to a recent article about reasons not to date common in women over 50, I received this comment: “All valid points. What is holding me back is my weight (overweight now) and having been celibate for over 10 years, the thought of intimacy. My body has cellulite, rolls…
Read more
Post-Divorce Casual Dating: To Fling or Not to Fling?
Two of my three kids are grown, so I think I can safely say now that I wish they had taken a gap year between high school and college, or during college. At least they studied abroad. The amount of worldly knowledge and independence they gained from studying abroad got me…
Read more
Stop Repeating the Same Love Mistakes After 50
Are you tired of spinning your wheels in dating? Feeling like every man is the same guy… in a different shirt?
Read more
4 Bad Reasons 50+ Women Quit Dating (and 1 Good One)
For every woman in the 50+ age group who responds to one of my articles, hopeful about dating again, an equal number write back with a heavy sigh: “Never again. I’m done.”
Read more
Get Better at Dating With "Main Character" Energy
If you’re a woman over 50 and haven’t done at least 7 of the 10 things I’ve listed below, you may be missing out on your “Main Character Era.”
Read more
Unpopular Opinion: Men Over 50 Deserve a 2nd Chance
I don’t mean get back together with the man you divorced. I certainly don’t mean stay with someone who abuses you. I mean, in early dating—even in texting. I mean, when something rubs you the wrong way and you’re ready to call it quits before chemistry has had a chance to…
Read more
Thinking About Dating Older Men: But Don’t Want to Be A Nurse Or A Purse?
Once women are done complaining to me about how older men are only looking for younger women, they turn around and complain that they’ll end up being an older man’s nurse, purse, or, dreadfully, both!
Read more
5 Most Awkward Dating Situations and How to Deal
You might be hesitant to jump back into the dating scene because you’ve heard stories from your girlfriends about some truly cringe-worthy moments. But here’s the good news: with a little preparation from your trusted dating coach, you can walk into any date feeling confident,…
Read more
So you have an STD, To Date or Not To Date?
Once upon a time, I used to coach people in weekend workshops. About 15 people would sit in a circle in my living room and talk about their secrets and lies. The premise of the retreat was: “the truth will set you free.” I did a whole TedX talk about it.
Read more
Why Your First Date Should Be a Video Chat
If you met online, your first date should not be a glass of wine at a noisy bar. It should be a video call. Full stop. I know, I know. It’s not the fantasy. But we’re grown-ups now. With real-time energy levels, complicated schedules, and no time (or patience) for last-minute…
Read more
3 Do’s and Don’ts of Online Dating Banter
When you first spot someone on a dating app and your interest is piqued, the next big step is kicking off some fun, flirty banter. Since they can’t read your body language, your online banter has to carry all the weight of making that initial spark happen.
Read more
30 Dating Questions to Ask To Get to Know Someone Better
As a relationship expert, my mission is to help you stop wasting time on dead-end dates and find someone who’s a good match for you for long-term love. By "good match," I mean you are "in sync" on all 3H's: your head, your heart, and your hoo-ha.
Read more
What Makes 2 People TRULY Compatible: It's Not What You Think
What makes two people truly compatible? It’s not what you think…
Read more
The Worst Dating Profile Mistakes Women Over 50 Still Make—And How to Fix Them
Dating apps and dating sites can open up a world of possibilities, even after 50—but only if you know how to use them wisely. As a dating coach, I see the same worst dating profile mistakes over and over again, especially from attractive women who should be having a good time…
Read more
Should I Give A Guy I Wasn't Attracted To A Second Chance?
So, you aren’t attracted at first, but you’re lonely, and you are looking for the love of your life! And maybe you haven't made such good choices in the past when you picked based on what you were attracted to, so….
Read more
Dating After Divorce: How to Do It the Right Way
Dating after divorce can feel like stepping into a strange new world—especially if you’ve been out of the dating game for a long time. You might feel like the dating pool has changed, the rules are unclear, and your comfort zone is nowhere to be found. But here's good news: not…
Read more
5 Tips to Avoid Being Ghosted Forever 🚫👻
One of the main complaints I hear from daters is about BEING GHOSTED. Ghosting is a pretty new term. I know because my 80-year old dad said “huh, what’s that?” He stopped dating before computers, texting and online dating sites. You could still ghost someone in those days– but…
Read more
Why Do Men Ghost: Some Important Coaching
If you keep getting your heart broken when you get ghosted, here is the coaching: STOP FALLING FOR THOSE WHO SAY, BUT DO NOT DO, THE THINGS YOU WANT!
Read more
Should I Hire a Professional Matchmaker?
Ever wondered what it’s really like behind the scenes of a professional matchmaking service? I recently sat down with Jill Dunn, a seasoned matchmaker with years of experience helping single men and women find long-term relationships.
Read more
The Top 5 Reasons Women Give Up on Love
Quick question: What’s the top reason you’ve given up on finding love after 50?
Read more
How to Protect Yourself From a Narcissist
As a relationship coach, every so often I have to encourage someone to leave their relationship. But how do we know when it’s time to cut losses?
Read more
10 Key Questions to Ask on the First 3 Dates for Mature Daters
I have been coaching people for 20 years on how to date effectively, based on Handel Group™’s awesome methodology. I've taught countless clients how to maximize the utility, intimacy, and fun of the first 3 dates, with great questions…
Read more
Untangling Mom: Learning to Love Her and Finally Be Me
Relationship coach Laurie Gerber returns to help us unpack the emotional weight of the mother-daughter dynamic. Through her “Pedestal Ditch Perspective,” we’ll explore how we see our moms—either as flawless or flawed beyond repair—and how those extremes keep us stuck. Let’s talk…
Read more
Can Sex Get Better After Menopause?
If you’re post-menopausal and dating (or thinking about dating), I want you to know: you are not alone, you are not too old, too dry, too rusty, and you are not done. So many women in their 50s, 60s, and beyond are re-entering the dating world and wondering with regards to sex……
Read more
The Importance of Shared Values in a Romantic Relationship
My sense of priorities in relationships has changed over the course of coaching. I had to reexamine my values because what I was valuing when I came to coaching wasn’t giving me the relationship I really wanted…
Read more
How Women Can Avoid the Top Five Dating Mistakes
As a relationship expert, I have been studying dating over 50 for the last 20 years, and I have made an important discovery. The good news is that the biggest mistakes women make in dating can be avoided.
Read more
The Biggest Dating Dealbreakers for Women
One moment you're excited about a potential partner, and the next, you’re wondering if you just wasted a lot of time. Welcome to the dating game! What a ride.
Read more
Most Common Third Date Mistakes to Avoid
The 3rd date is a significant milestone, it assumes you are really interested in each other and attracted– but you need to know some very important things in order to take it further.
Read more
Biggest Mistakes That Ruin a Second Date
A couple of weeks ago we discussed the most common 1st date mistakes, if you missed it, here’s the link. This week, I want to warn you about the 2nd date pitfalls!
Read more
Fun First Date Ideas
First, let me just remind you, there will be no first date unless you have had a good time getting to know the person over text, phone call, or video chat, and feel that they meet your 3H criteria.
Read more
Understanding Relationship Compatibility in Early Dating
The biggest mistake women make in midlife dating is staying for a long time with the wrong person. If you’re lonely, you are susceptible to picking badly, and then staying put, hoping it will turn into a successful relationship if you’re patient or work hard enough to fix him.
Read more
Am I Good Enough to be Loved for What I Am?
One of the biggest obstacles I see stopping women in midlife from finding a meaningful romantic relationship is a deeply rooted belief that they are somehow “not enough” to deserve it. That they're too old, too damaged, too late, too this or that.
Read more
Why Do Men Talk So Much On First Dates?
Some men are narcissists. Some men are full of themselves. Most men are neither.
Read more
Examples of Canned Responses for Dating Multiple People
Almost every day I hear about the overwhelm and exhaustion women feel when engaged in online dating. Have you ever just wished you knew all the tricks to make it easier?
Read more
How to Make Yourself More Attractive: 4 Practical Strategies
You may think it seems shallow to care about being attractive. But it is the most important element that determines whether or not you will find a love match.
Read more
You’re Training Someone How to Treat You—From the First Interaction
Did you know? You are teaching someone how to treat you from the very first interaction. If you are wondering why someone treats you a particular way, think back to the behaviors you ignored or didn’t speak up about at the beginning.
Read more
Love, Hormones, and a Fresh Start: Your Guide to Dating After 50
At our age we’ve come to understand we don’t NEED a partner. You’ve spent plenty of time without one and you are okay.
Read more
Top 12 Safety Tips for Dating (Including Online)
If you feel unsafe dating, that’s fair. The online dating world is filled with wonderful potential partners, but it also has its fair share of red flags. Scammers, fraudsters, and people with bad intentions do exist, but that doesn’t mean you should live in fear. Healthy…
Read more
Divorce Detoxification: Do You Need It?
What happens if you are not OVER your divorce? You need DIVORCE DETOXIFICATION!
Read more
Navigating Dating After Divorce
Relationship coach Laurie Gerber joins family-law attorney and A Year and a Day host Jaime Davis for a candid guide to dating after divorce: when you are ready, how to change old patterns, rebuild confidence, vet new partners, and protect children from a relationship moving too…
Read more
Are You An Unhappy Single Person? Here's Help.
There are millions of unhappy single people in the world and I don’t want you to be one of them!
Read more
Why Must I Swipe Swipe Swipe, Delete, Delete, Delete
My first answer is, dating is an honest job and you DO need to be willing to put in the work. Finding your soulmate does take time and a good attitude, like any other important accomplishment.
Read more
Want To Establish An Ideal Relationship? Set These 4 Boundaries!
FAQ: What are boundaries I can implement in dating to establish my ideal relationship? ANSWER: These 4 things:
Read more
Doing Holidays Solo? 5 Strategies for Making Peace with Being Single
Are you headed into another holiday season without a "special someone" by your side? Wouldn’t it be easier to handle your family’s craziness if you had a partner with you? At the very least it might get them focused on something other than your singleness!
Read more
Are We Compatible? How to Know if You Should Proceed With a Particular Someone
A lot of people make the mistake of thinking that their partner needs to be the same as them–similar interests, similar finances, family situation and maybe even the SAME in some areas like: level of education, race, politics, religion…
Read more
Testing the Dating Waters: 6 Red Flags to Watch Out For During the First Three Dates
Do you ever get so excited to finally find someone decent to date that you let your guard down and excuse or disregard RED FLAGS??
Read more
4 MUSTS For Developing Trust While Dating
Why is Trust so important? You might say developing trust is what dating is all about--to see if the person is a good match for you.
Read more
Setting the Record Straight: What A Good Partner Does (and Doesn't) Do For You
If you’ve been following me on Insta you know I am not just about you finding your person, but I’m all about you keeping the love alive, hot and healthy. Are you frustrated that your partner can’t provide certain things you want?
Read more
Dating Hack: 5 Things You'll Learn From A Video Chat That You Need to Know
There are 5 things THAT YOU NEED TO KNOW that you will learn by setting up a video chat with a potential date…
Read more
Attention Daters: How to Get off the Apps and Into Real Life Dates
Are you frustrated by dating apps? Are you tired of endless texting but no real action? Are you confused and overwhelmed by what’s expected in dating these days?
Read more
Make Awkward Talks Less Painful with this 8-Step Awesome Cheat Sheet 📜
Dating requires many awkward conversations–whether it’s… ...asking for the next date ...talking about STIs…
Read moreWhy Dating While Ashamed Doesn't Work and How to Fix it
For every person I coach about dating I find a secret or two hiding in the closet! It’s something they think if others knew– it would mean no chance for them…
Read more
Is the Division of Labor Fair in Your Household? 🙋♀️
I’ll be frank, the patriarchy is really getting on my nerves. There are other battle cries I could sound right now, but given Labor Day tomorrow, this is the one that’s bothering me…
Read more
Your Phone Is Stupid, and It's Making You Stupid 📱😱
In a few years, we are going to look back at our relationship with phones, and consider it barbaric. We are in denial about this. We make excuses constantly. To be very blunt, essentially, the phone is evil and it does evil things to you. And you, like a lemming, comply.
Read more
Determining Your Type in 3 Easy Steps
It’s easy to think that “your type” is some elusive thing, but it’s not: IT’S A SACRED THING! And I want you to reclaim it!
Read more
#1 Dating Tool: How to Use the 3H Chart Whether You're on the Hunt Or Long-Term Committed
Once you start using this incredibly useful dating tool, the 3H chart, you can say goodbye to heartbreak. What, you may be asking, are the 3H’s?
Read more
Are you Addicted to A Person? 🤔 Use this Free 6-Step Detox To Believe in Love Again, Now.
Sometimes your inability to get over someone reaches the level of an addiction, which means you feel like you have no control over what your head is busy thinking about. How do you know you’re addicted?
Read more
15 Excuses for Bad Relationships and Why They Are Actually Certified Crap 💩
Not everyone can afford private coaching, but everyone deserves somebody to help them debunk their favorite excuses about why relationships don’t work. Allow me to debunk the most popular 15 excuses I hear, by category….
Read more
The Step by Step Guide to Figuring Out What You Really Want
Last week, I told you I’d explain how my sense of priorities in relationship changed over the course of coaching. I had to reexamine my values because what I was valuing when I came to coaching wasn’t giving me the relationship I really wanted…
Read more
Avoid the Top 3 Relationship Pitfalls: Holiday Edition
No two people conceive of vacations the same way. No two people want the same thing from their holiday. Have you discussed what’s most important to your partner, in a calm moment? If you haven’t, you can expect these 3 outcomes…
Read more