5 Tips to Avoid Being Ghosted Forever 🚫👻

One of the main complaints I hear from single people—especially women navigating the dating scene after 50—is about BEING GHOSTED.

Ghosting is a relatively new term in the world of dating. My 80-year-old dad once asked, “Huh, what’s that?” when I brought it up. He stopped dating long before dating apps, social media, or texting existed. Sure, people still disappeared back then, but it wasn’t the digital-age epidemic it is now—and it didn’t have a catchy name.

Ghosting refers to when a potential partner abruptly cuts off contact without explanation. You go from fun phone calls and flirty text messages to absolute radio silence. Poof—into thin air. No warning. No honest conversation. Just gone. And the emotional response? Confusing, painful, and damaging— if you’re on the receiving end.

As a dating coach and relationship expert, I’ve worked with online daters for years—through webinars for Match.com, Jdate, Zoosk, and in private sessions. I would never tell anyone to abandon dating apps entirely just because ghosting is common. That would be like saying “don’t drive” because traffic exists.

Here’s the truth:

MOST PEOPLE ON DATING APPS ARE LOOKING FOR REAL, SERIOUS RELATIONSHIPS.

Yes, really. You just need the tools to separate the serious from the slippery. (And if you like my very directive, practical approach to dating, watch my free webinar "3 Secrets to Finding and Maintaining Healthy Love" here.)

Ghosting happens, but it’s not completely inevitable. With a little clarity and a lot of healthy communication, you can greatly reduce your chances of being ghosted and have a much better dating experience overall.

Here are the five most important things you can do to avoid being ghosted—and build the kind of relationships you actually want.

1. The Best Way to Attract the Right Person? Fix Your Dating Profile

If you want a real connection in this digital age, your dating profile needs to be your best self on display. It’s not just a little thing. It’s the first step and one of the most important.

Get photos that highlight you looking confident and vibrant—without sunglasses, hats, or group shots. (No one should have to guess who you are.) A full-body shot is a must, not optional. If you're not thrilled about your body, let’s talk—I coach women through that too.

Think of your dating profile as a sales pitch. You’re not just showing off your looks—you’re demonstrating your personality, your values, your energy. Use hooks or quirky statements to stand out.

More about how to optimize your dating profile here.

Still unsure? Send your profile (and pics) to three honest friends or a trusted family member. Ask: “Does this represent me accurately—and at my best?” You might be surprised by their feedback.

In the dating world, this kind of self-awareness goes a long way. And in the long run, it leads to healthier relationships.

(This is quite possibly my assistant's favorite meme.)

2. Stop the Endless Messaging—Move to Phone Calls or Video Chats

Texting forever is a trap. It’s one of the most avoidant behaviors in modern dating. If you've been chatting with someone for an extended period of time (more than 2 weeks) but still haven’t seen their face or heard their voice—red flag!

The best thing you can do? Escalate communication. Phone calls and video chats are real-life tools to establish a real connection.

Here’s what you want to confirm before meeting up:

✅ They’re a real person

✅ You have intriguing banter

✅ No major red flags or dealbreakers

✅ It’s not your dad under a pseudonym (just saying)

If there’s no spark or something feels off, cut things off respectfully. Say:
“You seem great, but I don’t think this is a romantic match. Good luck out there!”

That’s direct communication. That’s kindness. That’s maturity. And it’s good karma. The less you ghost, the less you'll be ghosted!

3. Don’t Go on a First Date Unless They’re a Good Fit

Repeat after me: You are not obligated to meet someone just because they asked.

If someone already showed signs of poor communication skills, conflicting attachment style, or values that don’t align with yours—you don’t need to “see how it goes.”

You might find saying "no, thank you" to be an awkward conversation, but it will save you grief and a misplaced feeling of rejection later. 

Going on dates with people who are not a good fit is part of the reason ghosting happens in the first place. It creates unclear expectations and emotional imbalance. If you want a serious relationship in the long term, start by honoring your dealbreakers. Sometimes men can actually feel that you're not that into it, and then they disappear. They want to avoid rejection, too!

4. Talk About Other Dates (Yes, It’s the Right Thing to Do)

Let’s normalize this: it’s okay to be dating multiple people. In fact, it’s expected in the early stages of getting to know someone.

What’s not okay? Avoiding the subject altogether.

In a recent survey I did with my clients, one of the most common reasons I found they ghosted was because they didn’t want to have an honest conversation about dating other people. So instead of being real, they just vanished.

Here’s what I recommend: say something like—
“I assume we’re both seeing other people right now, and that’s fine. I just ask that if anything changes regarding how you feel about pursuing us, we communicate about it directly.”

Is it an awkward moment? Maybe. But in the long run, it leads to better, more honest relationships.

5. Want to Know If They’ll Ghost You? See If They Plan the Next Date

This one’s simple. If your date ends and there’s no mention of what’s next, that’s your answer.

If someone’s truly interested, they’ll want to see you again—and they’ll say it. They’ll make plans. They won’t disappear into thin air. If you aren't sure you can always say: "Want to plan our next date?" Some men need a nudge and a clear communication that you're interested, but if that doesn't work, don't wait to be ghosted. Call it out with one last communication before letting go. Read about how to know for sure they're gone: here.

There are sometimes good reasons men pause, choke or withdraw. But if they want to build a future relationship with you, they’ll make it known after a short time of no communication. If they don’t? They are not your person. You're one step closer to the last love of your life!

In the dating game, knowing when to walk away is a powerful skill.

In the Long Run, Healthy Communication Wins

Ghosting is a confusing experience, but it doesn’t have to define your dating life. The better your communication skills, the better you will be at making connections, and the more likely you are to meet someone who values open communication just as much as you do.

Ghosting isn't really about you, but the good news is that there is plenty you can do to avoid it. If it does happen, I want you to think about it in a positive light.

A healthy relationship starts with being able to talk honestly about what you are looking for, what's working and not working, seeing other people and the future. If someone can't handle letting you know they need to move on, you dodged a bullet in the long run! Rejoice and get back to your vision for what you want.

Frequently Asked Questions About Ghosting in Modern Dating

1. What’s the main reason people ghost?

Most often, it’s emotional avoidance. People don’t want to deal with a difficult or awkward conversation, so they disappear. It’s a reflection of their discomfort—not your worth.

2. Is ghosting more common in online dating?

Yes, unfortunately. The world of online dating makes it easy to avoid accountability. But with better communication and clear expectations, you can still build meaningful connections.

3. How do I avoid being ghosted again?

Use direct ways of connecting. Ask clear questions. Openly discuss red flags early. Move quickly from messages to real-life interaction like phone or video calls. Don’t let things drag out for a long time.

4. What if I feel like ghosting someone?

If you’re tempted to ghost, pause. Take the healthier route and send a short message. Even a little honesty—"It was lovely to connect, but I don’t feel we have the romantic connection. I wish you the best"—is a big deal and shows emotional maturity.

5. How do I recover after being ghosted?

Focus on your mental health. Talk to a friend. Reflect on what kind of communication you want in your future relationships. And most of all, don’t take it personally. Ghosting is never the fault of the ghosted person.