Setting the Record Straight: What A Good Partner Does (and Doesn't) Do For You
If you’ve been following me on Insta you know I am not just about you finding your person, but I’m all about you keeping the love alive, hot, and healthy.
Are you frustrated that your partner can’t provide certain things you want?
Are you getting the sneaking suspicion that maybe you aren’t expecting the right thing?
Let me set the record straight!
Coaching daters for 20 years has taught me a lot about what people need and don’t need.
Too often, people want to use their partner as a compensation rather than an enhancement.
Harsh fact: Self love is an inside job. And it’s necessary for a good relationship. In fact, it's a prerequisite.
If you don’t do your own work, you are going to be putting too much burden on the relationship, and it won’t go well in the long run.
Here are 5 things a great partner SHOULDN’T do for you:
Be your everything. Dangerous, obvi.
Make you happy. You should make yourself happy. A partner can add to it, but the buck stops with you.
Establish your boundaries. Nope, that one is your job too.
Give you a community. They can add to yours but shouldn’t be replacing yours!
Be responsible for your sexual pleasure. Too much pressure and unrealistic, that’s primarily yours too!
But…
Here are 5 things a great partner SHOULD do for you:
Show genuine curiosity about how you think and feel.
Show you a good time.
Pay attention when you speak– as long as you’re not interrupting.
Make a genuine effort to negotiate how you spend time together, divide the labor and communicate so it works for both of you.
Learn how to resolve conflicts productively.
If you are struggling with any of these do’s and don’ts, I can help you!
There is something for every price range:
FREE: Watch my videos on Instagram and read the blog.
So affordable: Purchase Master the Art of Love.
Money's no object: Make an appointment to talk to me about your situation if you need a coach.
Want to Attract (and Be) a Truly Great Partner?
If you’re expecting your partner to complete you—or carry the whole relationship—it’s time for a reset. My free training will help you understand what really builds lasting love.
✅ Learn what you should never outsource to a partner
✅ Discover the 5 things a great partner will do for you
✅ Stop overburdening your relationship—and start thriving in it
Frequently Asked Questions about Relationship Expectations
1. What’s wrong with expecting my partner to make me happy?
Nothing—if they add to your happiness. But if you’re relying on them to create it, you’ll always feel disappointed. Your joy is your job. A partner can enhance it, but they can’t build it for you.
2. Isn’t it romantic to want to be someone’s “everything”?
It might sound romantic, but it’s not sustainable. Healthy love includes space, individual passions, and outside support systems. The “you complete me” fantasy often leads to burnout and resentment.
3. How do I know if I’m putting too much on the relationship?
If you feel constantly disappointed, anxious, or like your partner is “failing” you—it’s time to ask if you're outsourcing your self-worth or emotional regulation. Relationships work best when both people are whole.
4. What if my partner isn’t doing the things on the “should” list?
Start with a conversation—curious, not critical. Share what you need and ask what they need, too. Sometimes it’s a gap in skill, not care. And if there’s no effort to grow? That’s worth reevaluating.
5. How do I work on myself so I’m not over-relying on a partner?
Self-work includes boundaries, hobbies, emotional regulation, community, and pleasure—all on your own. Coaching, journaling, therapy, and tools like my course Master the Art of Love can guide you through it.
