If finding love (or getting back out there) is going to make your New Year’s resolution list, this is your perfect moment. The holiday season will soon be over, and everyone’s in that new beginnings mindset.

Are you ready?

If you’re over 50 and thinking about dating again—whether it’s been a few months, or a few decades, or since your last heartbreak—it’s time to get intentional. No more winging it, hoping for chemistry, or letting the dating apps decide your fate. You get to do this your way: consciously, confidently, and with your whole self (head, heart, and hoo-ha included).

If you’re dating over 50 and wondering why it feels harder than ever to find your person, you’re not imagining it.
The dating landscape has changed — and so have we.

You’ve lived, loved, raised kids, maybe divorced, maybe lost a partner. You’ve learned a lot about yourself. But even the most self-aware among us can get tripped up by unrealistic expectations that sabotage love.

At the beginning of 2025, I promised myself I'd start my own podcast. I had rejected the idea of it in the past because it seemed like too much work, but THIS felt like the year!

In this season of thanks-giving, I am going to lay out an unpopular opinion:

Every choice in love you’ve made in the past has been in your best interest!

"What, Laurie?" You must be asking yourself if I’ve gone off the deep end.

In response to a recent article about reasons not to date common in women over 50, I received this comment:

“All valid points. What is holding me back is my weight (overweight now) and having been celibate for over 10 years, the thought of intimacy. My body has cellulite, rolls of fat, wrinkles, spots, etc.”

If you’ve dipped your toe into the modern world of dating apps, you’ve probably noticed they all have one thing in common — you have to work them if you want them to work for you.

Do the apps secretly rate your attractiveness? Are you being punished for swiping too much? And is there really a way to “beat the system”? 

Two of my three kids are grown, so I think I can safely say now that I wish they had taken a gap year between high school and college, or during college. At least they studied abroad.

The amount of worldly knowledge and independence they gained from studying abroad got me thinking about the corollary to dating after divorce.

For every woman in the 50+ age group who responds to one of my articles, hopeful about dating again, an equal number write back with a heavy sigh: “Never again. I’m done.”

If you’re a woman over 50 and haven’t done at least 7 of the 10 things I’ve listed below, you may be missing out on your “Main Character Era.”

I don’t mean get back together with the man you divorced.

I certainly don’t mean stay with someone who abuses you.

I mean, in early dating—even in texting. I mean, when something rubs you the wrong way and you’re ready to call it quits before chemistry has had a chance to develop.

I get this a lot as a dating coach: Women send me their online dating profile to analyze—as if I could tell them whether it’s “good” or “bad” without knowing them first.

That’s not how it works.

Once women are done complaining to me about how older men are only looking for younger women, they turn around and complain that they’ll end up being an older man’s nurse, purse, or, dreadfully, both!

If you’re a woman in later years looking for a mature man around your own age, there are some things you should expect. This list isn't meant to scare you—it’s to help you experience the dating scene with greater ease.

First off, they might help you feel less crazy, because if you’ve been dating, surely you’ve noticed them!

You might be hesitant to jump back into the dating scene because you’ve heard stories from your girlfriends about some truly cringe-worthy moments. But here’s the good news: with a little preparation from your trusted dating coach, you can walk into any date feeling confident, ready to have fun, and equipped to handle whatever comes your way.

Once upon a time, I used to coach people in weekend workshops. About 15 people would sit in a circle in my living room and talk about their secrets and lies. The premise of the retreat was: “the truth will set you free.”

I did a whole TedX talk about it.

If you met online, your first date should not be a glass of wine at a noisy bar. It should be a video call. Full stop.

I know, I know. It’s not the fantasy. But we’re grown-ups now. With real-time energy levels, complicated schedules, and no time (or patience) for last-minute (or during-date) disappointments.

You finally open up the dating app, and there it is—the blank box next to "What makes you unique?" You freeze. Is this the best place to share your love of New York bagels? Is it too soon to mention your three divorces and obsession with Candy Crush?

Let’s brush our teeth before we kiss, he said on our first date, implying I had bad breath! 

I was mortified. But I brushed my teeth, and we had a great first kiss.

That was decades ago, and now we’ve been married 27 years. When asked how I knew he was the right person, I harken back to that bold, brave, risky thing he said to me.