The Top 5 Reasons Women Give Up on Love

Quick question:

What’s the top reason you’ve given up on finding love after 50?:

✅ I am still not over what was done to me.
✅ I don’t trust myself to pick right.
✅ There are no good options for me.
✅ I couldn’t stand another heartbreak.
✅ All of the above.
✅ None of the above (please explain in an email).

If you're thrilled to be single, more power to you. But if you're reading this because you're quietly hoping for a romantic relationship—or still recovering from the loss of one—then I'm thinking, you haven't really given up. You’ve just convinced yourself that the pain, the bad dates, and the emotional labor won’t be worth it in the end.

Maybe you've told yourself…

…you’ll never find the right person…you’re better off alone…your romantic partner is just a fantasy…modern dating is a nightmare…your love life is destined for disappointment.

And honestly, as a dating coach for the last 2 decades, I get it. These negative emotions are strong. You’ve been through bad experiences, maybe even a failed relationship or an abusive partner. You might be feeling the mental health toll of rejection, loneliness, or a lack of communication in past relationships. But what if all these thoughts are steering you wrong?

What if the reason you believe these thoughts is because you mistake your own inner critic—your biased, bruised voice—for the voice of reason? Or worse, the voice of truth?

And actually, you're wrong??

In just the last week, I’ve heard the following statements from smart, successful women:

“There are literally no good, available men in Houston.”
“I will never get over my ex, how could I? He was near perfect.”
“I could not survive being hurt that way again.”
“I am incapable of being attracted to someone who treats me right.”

These women are not lazy or pessimistic. They are strong, accomplished, and deeply loving. But their inner dialogue has convinced them that finding love is hopeless.

I want you to know that my smart, successful clients utter these words to me with a straight face, as if they are telling me FACTS!

Can you see how none of those statements are facts? They're emotional distortions—powerful ones, yes, but still distortions. And unless you challenge them, they will shape the rest of your (love) life.

At the end of the day, the only thing truly stopping you from believing in love again is fear. 

Fear of heartbreak. Fear of rejection. Fear of repeating the same mistakes. Fear of wasting what feels like the rest of your life on another bad decision.

But there’s good news.

Overcoming fears after past relationships or divorce is what I specialize in. As a relationship expert, I work with women every day—especially women over 50—who are navigating the world of online dating.

And I’ve seen what happens when they finally give themselves permission to hope again.

➡️They heal from what hurt them.

➡️They learn to trust themselves again.

➡️They recognize red flags and avoid bad situations.

➡️They find good relationships with potential partners who meet their emotional needs.

➡️They stop chasing fantasy bonds and start building real love.

➡️They discover how to express love in healthy ways—yes, even learning their partner's love language and communicating their own.

➡️They stop wasting time on people who don’t reciprocate.

➡️They realize the best thing they can do is become the best version of themselves and allow good things to come in.

And yes, they still kiss a lot of frogs. But instead of spiraling into hopelessness after a bad date or wrong swipe, they learn from each experience, adjust course, and stay open to love. 

Then they find the last love of their lives.

Want to get started with the secrets I've taught my clients? WATCH MY FREE WEBINAR!

Talk Back to the Top 5 Reasons Women Give up on Love.

1. I am still not over what was done to me. 

That’s valid. Past relationships and abusive partners leave deep wounds. But healing is possible, especially with supportive friends, therapy, and coaching. A healthy relationship is still available to you—even after trauma.

2. I don’t trust myself to pick right. 

This is one of the most common fears I see. But guess what? Picking right isn’t a magical talent—it’s a skill. You can learn to recognize clear signs, avoid rash decisions, and follow a relationship roadmap that works.

3. There are no good options for me. 

Listen, I love a dramatic generalization as much as the next gal, but this one just doesn’t hold up. The dating pool isn’t empty—it just requires positive energy, an authentic self, and an updated dating profile to attract the right fit.

4. I couldn’t stand another heartbreak.

Yes, heartbreak hurts. But with healthy boundaries and emotional maturity, you can avoid repeating old patterns. And even if god forbid it does happen again, you’ll be okay—and you’ll figure out how to learn from it.

5. All of the above.

That’s okay too. We’re complex. Your fears come from a real place. But they don’t have to define your future relationships.

You are worthy of love. You are capable of building a loving relationship. You can still experience romantic love if you are brave enough to keep believing and do the work.

You need a new approach. 

That’s why I created the “Master the Art of Love” course—to help mature women like you stop believing in your worst fears and start believing in the right things: your strength, your desires, and your capacity for a successful relationship.

Got that?

Frequently Asked Questions About Giving Up on Love After 50

What’s the best first step to take when I’ve given up on love?

The best decision you can make is to stop believing everything your inner dialogue (aka lower self) tells you. Take the first step by reflecting on your desires. A course or conversation with a coach can help point you in the right direction. Or, just watch the free webinar.

Is online dating a good idea for women over 50?

Yes, but with guidance. Online dating can introduce you to new people and even lead to real love. But it’s important to protect yourself, set boundaries, and know what you're looking for. Read "Is Dating in the Digital Age Even Worth It?".

What if I’ve been in an abusive relationship? Can I still find a good match?

Absolutely. Many women come to me after emotionally or physically abusive relationships. With support and healing, you can attract a partner who not only takes great care of you but also helps you heal.

I keep attracting the same type. How do I change that?

Start by identifying your patterns from previous relationships. Ask yourself what the red flags were, and work with a coach or therapist to build new habits. Read more about determining and changing your type here.

Am I too old to find true love?

Not even close. Many of my clients find meaningful relationships well into their 50s, 60s, and beyond. Age is not a barrier to romantic love or meeting the last love of your life.

Love,