Ready to date again after 50? Laurie Gerber shares 10 practical, soulful steps to prepare your head, heart, and hoo-ha for real love—starting now.

(A version of this story previously appeared on the website Sixty and Me.)

Getting Ready to Date Again: Top 10 Things To Do

If you’re over 50 and thinking about dating again—whether it’s been a few months, or a few decades, or since your last heartbreak—it’s time to get intentional. No more winging it, hoping for chemistry, or letting the dating apps decide your fate. You get to do this your way: consciously, confidently, and with your whole self (head, heart, and hoo-ha included).

You're different than you were last time you were dating. Things have changed, possibly significantly. Just like you update your wardrobe, you have to update your approach to love, right?

Getting ready to date again means physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually, which is good news and bad news. The bad news is: it takes work. Our inner brats don't like that. The good news is that all the work you do will benefit your WHOLE LIFE!

As a dating coach, getting READY to date is a huge focus, so that once you dive in, you'll be effective and have fun.

Here are the 10 things I want every woman to do before she dives back into the dating scene:

1. Be able to tell the story of your relationship history as one of growth and learning.

You can’t build a new romantic relationship if you’re still judging or harping on your previous ones. Every past relationship—good, bad, or complicated—was a classroom. Your job is to become the student who actually learned something. Practice telling your story as one of evolution, not failure.

“Here’s what I learned about communication.”

“Here’s how I learned about what I actually need.”

This isn’t about erasing past mistakes—it’s about personal growth and reclaiming the narrative. That way, when you meet new people, you’re not replaying or projecting your past hurts, you’re sharing the wisdom you've gained.

Get Your baggage out of Your Dating Life with this Exercise.

2. Make sure old partners are out of your physical and energetic space.

Clear the decks. Delete the number, take down the photos, pack up the keepsakes. And yes, that includes the “just-friends” ex who still texts on birthdays.

If you’re widowed, your task is a little different: connect with your departed love, receive their blessing, and honour that love by opening your heart again.

Emotional clutter blocks new energy. Physical clutter keeps you tied to your previous partner. Your next relationship deserves your presence—not your ghosts.

Divorce Detoxification: Do You Need It?

3. Fall in love with your body.

Your body tells your story. It’s lived, it’s loved, it’s survived. You don’t have to look twenty, but you want to feel alive.

Put down the shame and pick up pleasure. Move your body because it feels good. Dress in ways that make you smile when you catch your reflection. Invest in self-care—from your morning walk to your skin care routine—because confidence starts from how you treat yourself.

Sexy starts with self-acceptance.

Is Body Image holding you back?

4. Watch my webinar and create your 3H Chart.

Before you date again, you’ve got to know who you are and what you want—in your head, heart, and hoo-ha. 

What's going to be practical for you and make your head happy?

What makes you feel safe and your heart happy?

What do chemistry and attraction mean to you?

The 3H Chart helps you name your non-negotiables and desires clearly for EACH H, so you stop wasting time on mismatches.

Watch my free webinar—3 Secrets to Finding and Maintaining Healthy Love Without Repeated Disappointments—and learn exactly how to use this tool.

Knowing what you want is attractive. Articulating it is irresistible.

Watch it at lauriegerber.com/webinar!

5. Once you have your list of desired attributes, come up with your questions.

You can’t find out who someone is without an intention to do so. You’ve got to be curious and prepared. Once you’ve got your list of desired traits, come up with questions that reveal whether your dating partners actually live those qualities.

If you value emotional maturity, ask how they handled a recent conflict. If generosity is on your list, ask about their favorite ways to help friends.

The right questions reveal compatibility and emotional availability, helping you avoid red flags before you invest too much time.

Great questions aren’t interviews—they’re invitations for real dialogue.

Here are 10 must-ask questions for the first, second, and third dates.

6. Work on your mindset.

If you believe all the good men are taken, or that true love is only for the young, you’ll subconsciously prove yourself right. Start noticing your inner dialogue about dating and love.

When you catch a limiting belief, challenge it. Find counter-evidence. (“Wait, I do know a couple who met at 60 and are thriving.”)

The love you attract mirrors your mindset. Emotional readiness and a positive mindset are the foundation of all healthy relationships.

7. Refrain from negative talk.

This one’s huge. No more girl-talk marathons about how dating is awful or how “men are trash.” That energy repels exactly what you say you want.

Guard your words like your future depends on them—because it does. Speak hope. Use humour. Employ words that imply faith in yourself.

You don’t have to fake positivity, but you do have to stop rehearsing your disappointment. Positive language signals emotional availability and opens the door to new experiences and meaningful connections.

8. Research and pick one or two sites that feel right for you.

You do not have to be everywhere. Find one or two dating apps that attract the kind of intentional, emotionally intelligent people you want to meet.

Read reviews, ask friends or family members, and make your choices consciously. I’ve already done the homework for you in my roundup of the best dating sites for women over 50—no games, no nonsense.

Smart, mature women go online to find love at these sites.

Quality over quantity always wins.

9. Nail your dating app profile and prompts.

Yes, your words matter. The way you answer online dating profile prompts tells people how self-aware and emotionally available you are.

Use help from the internet to figure out the prompts and practice writing your answers. Don’t overthink it—just write like you talk when you’re lit up. 

Read about dating site prompts first, to be sure your answers are sending the right message to the right person, and attracting new potential partners who match your long-term relationship goals.

10. Take fabulous pictures.

No blurry selfies, no sunglasses, no ex cropped out. Take fresh, joyful photos that look like you—your best you, your happiest, most well-lit, you.

Ask friends or family members to snap photos often so you always have something new to upload. This not only helps your dating algorithm but also boosts your confidence.

When you feel seen and proud of your image, you show up differently, not just visually. 

Read the do's and don'ts about your profile pics here.

Do these ten things, and you’ll feel it—your confidence will rise, your clarity will sharpen, and your joy will become undeniable. You'll feel ready. That’s when the right person shows up.

Because the truth is, dating over 50 isn’t harder—it’s actually better and easier, if you follow these steps. There's no rush. So take a deep breath and settle into your new to-do list :)

This is the perfect time. Happy New Year!

💬 FAQs

1. How do I know if I’m really ready to date again after divorce or loss?

You’re ready when your energy is more curious than bitter, when you can tell your story without shame, blame, or tears. And when you want a partnership, not a rescue. If you’ve processed your past experiences and can view them as opportunities for growth, you’re emotionally open to what’s next.

2. What should I do before I start dating over 50?

Clean up your life—emotionally, physically, and energetically. Clear out old attachments, tune into your body, and get clear on what you want. The 3H Chart will help you align your head, heart, and hoo-ha before you ever swipe right on the dating apps.

3. How can I rebuild confidence in my body and appearance?

Confidence comes from connection, not perfection. Appreciate your body for all it’s done, dress in ways that feel like you, and get active. Change what you want to and can change about your physical appearance, and accept the rest.

4. What’s the best dating site for women over 50?

The best site is the one that matches your relationship goals. If you’re looking for a serious relationship or long-term commitment, try platforms designed for mature daters. I’ve reviewed my top picks in this post so you can find your best fit without overwhelm.

5. How do I stay positive if dating feels discouraging?

Think of dating as practice, not a pass/fail test. Each first date, second date, or even a “no spark” date teaches you something about what you want and how you show up. Keep your humour, limit negative talk, and remember: your next relationship--it’s making its way to you. Stay in motion, stay in faith, and trust that true love shows up when you do.

Love,