Values in a Partnership: Figuring Out What You Really Want
Values in a relationship change over time, and with coaching!
Once upon a time, my values for a partnership were:
Fidelity
Equality
Support (mostly him of me 😉)
Showing Up and Keeping Commitments
Respect (mostly him of me)
Being A Good Parent
Now I am going to tell you the values everyone almost seems to agree upon:
Trust
Loyalty
Care
Do you agree with these?
Now make your list, and if you are looking for ideas, here are some popular choices below:
Honesty
Selflessness
Friendship
Love
Faithfulness
Compassion
Sex/Chemistry
Unconditional Love
Being There/Showing Up
Support
Intimacy
Growth
Raising children
Doing the Work
Doing the work to understand what’s going on behind the scenes: uncovering your hidden theories and unexamined philosophies, is the beginning of understanding and negotiating what you really want in a relationship.
Do this alone or with someone you are dating.
The Worst That Can Happen
The very worst thing that can happen is that you find that your deep down values really don’t line up like you thought or wished they would. It’s my belief that on some level you already knew and felt that, but didn’t want to admit it.
Write it down
Quantify it (by putting your list in order)
Tell the truth about it to your mate if applicable.
That’s what I had to do. Here is my NEW list and my new order after reflection:
My values for my partnership:
Care/Support
Listening
Honesty
Passion
Co-Dreaming
Cooperation/Teamwork
Loyalty
Many new ideas, and a new order of priority. This would have never been possible for me without a coach, and it’s part of why I so highly recommend private or group coaching.
Love,
