How to Make Yourself More Attractive: 4 Practical Strategies
You may think it seems shallow to care about physical appearance, but attraction plays a critical role in finding your suitable companion– and you knew that!
Whether you're looking for a casual situation, trying to find a long-term romantic partner, or want to build stronger relationships in general, how you present yourself matters. Attraction isn’t just about good looks—it’s about confidence, presence, and how you make others feel.
I’m going to cover some not-so-superficial (but essential) ways to become more attractive.
The good news? You don’t need plastic surgery or a total personality overhaul. Just focus on these scientifically-proven ways to boost your overall attractiveness–unless you want plastic surgery, in which case go for it.
1. Exude Warmth: The Power of Facial Expressions and Body Language
Have you ever been told you have "resting bitch face"?
Most people have no awareness about what the look on their faces communicates, but it’s worth 1000 words. Our expression, including, posture and eye contact (vs. eye rolling) sends powerful messages about whether or not we are approachable–even more powerful than words!
The science of attraction teaches us that a genuine smile increases perceived attractiveness because it triggers the brain’s reward system in others. The American Psychological Association has conducted studies showing that people who smile appear more trustworthy, likable, and, yes, more physically attractive. Whoa. Too simple?
Let’s take it up a notch:
Smiling isn’t the only facial expression you can use to your advantage:
Practice smiling with your eyes. It creates warmth and shows genuine interest in others.
Maintain eye contact, but don’t stare. A warm gaze signals confidence and connection.
Use open body language—uncrossed arms, relaxed shoulders, and expansive posture imply confidence.
Take a deep breath before social interactions to regulate your nervous system and increase your comfort level. The calmer you are, the more open the other person will be.
All of these strategies release happy hormones inside of you, make YOU more relaxed, and make you more attractive.
2. Cultivate an Attractive Personality: Social Skills Still Matter in the Digital Age
Sure, good looks might grab initial attention, but an attractive personality keeps your appropriate match interested.
Many studies show that personality traits like kindness, humor, and curiosity play a more significant role in long-lasting relationships than physical attributes.
One of the best things you can do is to be curious. When you take a genuine interest in others, it makes you magnetic. Ask questions, listen intently, because those are the social skills that make people feel valued.
More things people find attractive:
A positive attitude—what a leg up you’ll have over the Debbie Downers who bring their baggage on dates!
A good sense of humor—laughter increases blood flow and creates an instant bond.
Even the depth of your tone matters. Studies show that a lower-pitched voice is often perceived as more attractive in men, while a higher-pitched voice is considered appealing in women. The cliches are true!
3. Love Yourself: The Self-Talk That Affects Your Attractiveness
Your self-talk is constantly broadcasting messages to those around you—even if you don’t say them out loud. If your inner voice is overly critical, you may unknowingly project insecurity. On the flip side, if you speak appreciatively about yourself, you exude confidence, which is irresistible. This is an inside job, that reflects on the outside.
Then there’s what you say out loud. Negative talk about yourself or others will be a turn-off to your date. It’s fair to assume the negativity might eventually ooze onto them, so stay positive.
This is not to say you should exaggerate your greatness or boast, but you can talk about hard things in terms of what you’ve learned and you can express gratitude for things in your life without sounding like you are bragging.
In order to think and speak positively of yourself you have to do the work:
Instead of criticizing your physical appearance, take care of your physical health through regular exercise, a nutritious diet, and getting enough sleep. And do the beauty treatments that make you feel best.
Improve your posture—I know this sounds so specific, but core exercises are everything as we age. The more comfortably you can sit up straight, the better you will feel and look.
There are additional ways to attract a high quality man:
By treating yourself like someone you love, you attract people who will do the same.
4. More on Beauty Routines
Physical attraction isn’t everything, but we all know—it matters. And the good news is, there are simple, scientifically backed ways to enhance your physical attributes without extreme measures.
Skincare & Grooming:
You need to be washing and moisturizing your face day and night
Experiment with makeup tricks that are known to highlight your best features.
Keep hair healthy—washing not too much, not too little and finding the right products and professionals for cuts, color and styling.
Get your beauty maintenance in your calendar. I literally block every Wednesday morning for mine-between botox, skin, hair and nails let’s admit need time!
Clothing & Accessories:
Dress in a way that flatters your body shape, this is an easy google search!
Choose colors that complement your skin tone. Again google is your friend.
Invest in good shoes—seriously, people notice! Studies show that footwear can impact first impressions.
Science-Backed Tips:
Love hormone (oxytocin) is released through touch —so don’t be afraid to squeeze a hand or give a hug if appropriate.
Don’t worry if you don’t look like a model! People are drawn to average faces because symmetry is subconsciously associated with good health.
I know it’s counterintuitive, but your romantic partner may be influenced by pheromones—so embrace your natural scent. Too much perfume isn’t always good!
If there’s something about your look that’s bothering you—a new haircut, teeth whitening, or wardrobe update—go ahead and book the appointment. No more waiting around wishing for change!
Attraction Is a Holistic Concept
Attractiveness isn’t just about one factor—it’s a combination of confidence, attitude, social ease, and self-care.
If you are not attractive to your date–i.e just not his taste, then he is not the right match for you. You’re one wants you, period. So while all these tips on how to be attractive will help boost your confidence and help you be more present in the dating process, you don’t have to change how you look to find the last love of your life!
Your goal isn’t to impress the opposite sex or conform to a single beauty standard but to step into the best version of yourself so that you attract the right people into your life.
So, next time you doubt your appeal, remember: the science of attraction will work, if you work it!
If you find dating difficult, my group coaching program is designed to help you navigate the world of dating and build confidence. I encourage you to join and learn how to put your best foot forward in dating– from profile writing to navigating long-term love.
You are beautiful. And nobody else in the world is attractive in quite the way YOU ARE. You owe it to yourself to own that beauty and share it with the world!
FAQs:
1. How can I improve my physical appearance without drastic changes?
Enhancing your natural beauty doesn’t require extreme makeovers—small, consistent changes can make a big difference.
Skincare: A glowing complexion starts with a good skincare routine. Cleansing, moisturizing, and using SPF daily help maintain healthy skin. Consider incorporating serums with ingredients like vitamin C or hyaluronic acid for added radiance. If necessary, use a persimmon-extract soap to eliminate “old people smell” on your skin.
Makeup: A makeup tutorial from a professional or watching online guides can help you discover techniques that enhance your best features. Experiment with colors that complement your complexion while maintaining a natural look.
Fashion & Fit: Dressing in well-fitted clothing that flatters your body shape can instantly make you look more polished and confident. Learning what styles complement your figure can be a game-changer.
Hair Refresh: A new haircut, color, or styling technique can breathe fresh energy into your look. Even small changes, like a layered cut or adding volume, can boost your hair and your happiness
Do a Cleanse: My personal favorite is here.
2. What are the most attractive personality traits in women?
Physical beauty may catch attention, but personality is what truly captivates and sustains attraction. Some of the most appealing traits include:
Confidence: A woman who believes in herself naturally draws others in. Confidence is not about arrogance but about knowing your worth and not needing constant validation.
Kindness & Warmth: A kind-hearted, compassionate nature makes people feel valued and appreciated. Genuine warmth, generosity, and empathy create lasting connections.
Sense of Humor: Playfulness and the ability to laugh—especially at yourself—make you approachable and engaging. Men appreciate women who can lighten the mood and find joy in everyday moments.
Authenticity: Being unapologetically yourself, rather than trying to fit an image of what you think others want, is highly attractive. People are drawn to those who are real and comfortable in their own skin.
Watch my free webinar to gain confidence in speaking your truth and having fun with dating.
3. How can I boost my confidence and feel more attractive?
Confidence is often the key to feeling and appearing more attractive. Here are some practical ways to strengthen self-assurance:
Mindset Shift: Instead of focusing on perceived flaws, emphasize your strengths. Practice affirmations, such as, “I am worthy of love and respect.”
Posture & Body Language: Standing tall, making eye contact, and smiling automatically make you appear and feel more confident.
Exercise & Movement: Regular movement, even a simple daily walk, helps release endorphins and improve self-image. Feeling strong and healthy makes you feel sexy.
Step Out of Your Comfort Zone: Pushing yourself to try new things—whether it's speaking up in a group, changing up your style, or taking a class—builds resilience and belief in your abilities.
4. How can I be more attractive to the right kind of men?
Attracting high-quality, emotionally mature men requires intentionality and self-awareness. Here’s how you can focus on drawing in the right kind of attention:
Clarify What You Want: Before attracting the right person, define what that looks like. What qualities do you admire in a partner? What kind of relationship are you looking for?
Embody the Qualities You Seek: If you want a confident, emotionally available partner, cultivate those traits within yourself. Like attracts like.
Engage in Activities That Attract the Right People: Attend events, hobbies, or communities that align with your interests and values. If you want to meet men who are relationship-minded, frequent places where those men are likely to be (e.g., professional networking events, book clubs, fitness groups, houses of worship, community events).
Maintain High Standards & Boundaries: The right man will respect your boundaries and appreciate your standards. If someone pushes against your values or tries to rush you, they may not be the right fit.
Love,
