Primary Blog topic
If you are over 50 and want love that lasts, hear me: finding the one is one skill, and keeping the love alive is another. Most of us were never taught the second skill. I learned this the hard way in my own marriage, and I can teach you how to stop guessing and start loving…
Read moreIf you keep having the same fight, or you swallow what you need to say because you are afraid of scaring him off, communication is probably the real issue. In this guide, I break down how to be honest earlier, listen without preparing your defense, apologize in a way that…
Read moreI have coached daters for over 20 years, and one theme keeps getting louder every year. Younger men (and of course older men) are actively seeking out older women, and it is a real, growing part of the dating world. If you are a woman over 50 wondering whether you still have…
Read moreIf you've spent more than ten minutes on online dating apps, you may have asked yourself: "Are there any emotionally healthy people on here at all?" Fair question. Because sometimes dating apps can feel like a strange social experiment where 1 person wants a soulmate, another…
Read moreThe number one concern I hear from many daters is: there are not enough eligible people where I live. My heart goes out to you. It's enough to make you give up altogether. On the other hand, I meet happy couples every day who started (or even remained) in a long-distance…
Read moreMost of us don't miss the red flags. We see them. We just talk ourselves out of what we saw. I've been helping women in the dating pool for over 20 years, and I will tell you with total certainty: the problem is rarely that you're oblivious. The problem is that you're hopeful.…
Read moreIn my family, there is a famous story about my grandmother Sylvia, who came to the US from Poland in the 1930s. Sylvia was notoriously skeptical, untrusting, and frugal. She could spend hours in a store examining potential purchases and still leave with nothing. No decision came…
Read more"If lots of self-awareness were enough, wouldn't you have fixed this by now?" In today's Love at Any Age episode, I'm sitting down with therapist Dawn Wiggins to talk about the gap between knowing your love patterns and actually changing them. She said one thing that totally…
Read moreIf you are a smart, self-aware woman who has done the inner work and still ended up in a romantic relationship that looks exactly like the last one, hear this: you are not broken. You are unconsciously running a pattern. And patterns can be changed. Dating over 50 brings a…
Read moreWhat men say—over and over—is that women tend to speak in signals instead of just asking directly for what they want. And here’s the uncomfortable truth: most women aren’t doing that on purpose. They’re doing it because they don’t actually know what they want yet.
Read moreIf you’re dating again after 50, the first thing to remember is this: chemistry is not the only thing that matters. You can have a good time, enjoy the small talk, even feel sparks on a first date, and still end up with a partner who is all wrong for the kind of life you…
Read moreIf you’re over 50 and thinking about dating again—whether it’s been a few months, or a few decades, or since your last heartbreak—it’s time to get intentional. No more winging it, hoping for chemistry, or letting the dating apps decide your fate. You get to do this your way:…
Read moreIf you’re dating over 50 and wondering why it feels harder than ever to find your person, you’re not imagining it. The dating landscape has changed — and so have we. You’ve lived, loved, raised kids, maybe divorced, maybe lost a partner. You’ve learned a lot about yourself. But…
Read moreYou finally open up the dating app, and there it is—the blank box next to "What makes you unique?" You freeze. Is this the best place to share your love of New York bagels? Is it too soon to mention your three divorces and obsession with Candy Crush?
Read moreIf you’ve ever secretly Googled “Am I undateable?”—first of all, hi, welcome, you’re in good company. Second, the fact that you’re asking that question probably means you’re not. Truly. Single women who are reflective, curious, and willing to assess their love life honestly are…
Read moreAs a relationship expert, my mission is to help you stop wasting time on dead-end dates and find someone who’s a good match for you for long-term love. By "good match," I mean you are "in sync" on all 3H's: your head, your heart, and your hoo-ha.
Read moreIs Honesty the Best Policy in Dating? Now that you are dating over 50, you can finally be honest!
Read moreSo, you aren’t attracted at first, but you’re lonely, and you are looking for the love of your life! And maybe you haven't made such good choices in the past when you picked based on what you were attracted to, so….
Read moreOne of the main complaints I hear from daters is about BEING GHOSTED. Ghosting is a pretty new term. I know because my 80-year old dad said “huh, what’s that?” He stopped dating before computers, texting and online dating sites. You could still ghost someone in those days– but…
Read moreI have been coaching people for 20 years on how to date effectively, based on Handel Group™’s awesome methodology. I've taught countless clients how to maximize the utility, intimacy, and fun of the first 3 dates, with great questions…
Read moreFirst of all, warning: this blog is for women. If you're a man and reading this, you may get some value and some chuckles, but the rules and ideas are really different for men. Maybe I'll write that one next. Now, ladies, if your flirt game is rusty, good news: you don’t need…
Read moreOne moment you're excited about a potential partner, and the next, you’re wondering if you just wasted a lot of time. Welcome to the dating game! What a ride.
Read moreOne of the biggest obstacles I see stopping women in midlife from finding a meaningful romantic relationship is a deeply rooted belief that they are somehow “not enough” to deserve it. That they're too old, too damaged, too late, too this or that.
Read moreYou may think it seems shallow to care about being attractive. But it is the most important element that determines whether or not you will find a love match.
Read moreRemember when I talked about “the click”? It’s when you finally know you are ready to find your soulmate. You’ve stopped whining, resisting and fearing the process or the result.
Read moreOne of the top 3 things couples fight about is: division of labor in the household! Successful couples uncover invisible labor, and acknowledge and appreciate it--and might choose to change some of the assigned responsibilities.
Read moreHere is another example of a bad apology. If you missed last week’s example…
Read moreThe format of a good apology should go like this…
Read moreWhen I first tried to stop my bad habit of interrupting, it was VERY hard! I knew it didn’t help my relationship and was considered socially wrong, but I didn’t find I had the willpower to stop…
Read moreDo people get defensive when you give them negative feedback? Here are 4 tips on how to position negative feedback so the person listening can really hear it!
Read moreWhen you are giving negative feedback, do you own your part first? If you want the person to whom you are complaining to care about your experience…
Read moreYep, we've been practicing our drills and improving our speaking and listening skills. There are 3 important takeaways we've gathered from this work.
Read morePopcorning: Interrupting your partner (popping in) to get attention on whatever you want to discuss. Distinguishing feature: it could happen at any time! Couples have been complaining about “popcorning'' for years but it got WAY worse in the pandemic when we were all living on…
Read moreLast week I encouraged you to self-assess and cop to your REAL issues. Blaming your partner is just too easy! Nonetheless, it is exactly what I did, FOR YEARS! Yup, when my coach asked me why I was unhappy in my relationship then answer was simple: IT WAS ALL HIS FAULT. Here is…
Read moreIt’s normal to ask yourself if the problems in your relationship are your fault. It’s also normal to blame them on your partner. The truth lies somewhere in between. I’ve been coaching clients for 17 years including thousands of people trying to make love work well and I’ve…
Read moreThree minutes to your score
and what to do next.
No email required to start
