Would Pavlok-style Shock Therapy Work For Your Relationship Problems?
When I first tried to stop my bad habit of interrupting, it was VERY hard!
I knew it didn’t help my relationship and was considered socially wrong, but I didn’t find I had the willpower to stop.
If you have ever tried to break a bad habit, you probably know what I am talking about. Wanting to change was not enough.
When I saw the Pavlok watch, it got me thinking about how useful it would have been to get an electric shock every time I did this behavior I knew I wanted to stop. (This isn’t an ad for Pavlok, so I won’t be linking to it.)
According to Pavlok's self-description, their device is "a watch that helps you break bad habits… with old conditioning techniques. Using the accompanying app, you set the habit you wish to quit. Then you or someone else can use the device to deliver a mild electrical zap when you indulge in your bad habit."
Doing it the old-fashioned way, where my own consequence for the bad behavior of interrupting was very subtle, it escalated so slowly over time that I barely ever noticed it. That is, until my husband felt so unheard (ten years into our relationship) that he was ready to divorce me!
If I had been forced to FEEL a consequence, every time, I think it would have changed my behavior MUCH MUCH faster.
(Imagine the results if my husband was the one controlling the electric shocks? In reality, he’s too nice to agree to anything like that even though the device comes with a phone app which can enable someone to zap someone else remotely. But it only works if you endure the conditioning of the zap, not if it trains you to preemptively grab your husband each time you see him reaching for his phone.)
Once I found a coach–who I hired, in part, to help me save my marriage–she came up with an old school way to keep me on my toes about interrupting. Same concept as the watch, and I’d impose the artificial consequence on myself.
To this day, if I catch myself interrupting my husband (or he catches me), I have to do one of his household chores. That’s my self-designed consequence. Why does this consequence work? It’s annoying and pretty immediate. It trains my brain to find ways to avoid interrupting, rather than excusing it once I do it.
Due to this self-imposed artificial consequence, I’ve changed my behavior almost completely, and I’ve certainly rectified my entitlement to interrupt. However, I’m now wondering if the technology of an even more immediate consequence would have been more effective and/or produced faster results.
What do you think? What’s worked for you in regards to changing bad behaviors? What do you think would work for you? Leave a comment below.
And if you know you need a coach, schedule a consultation to learn more.
