Whose Fault is It?
Last week I encouraged you to self-assess and cop to your REAL issues. Blaming your partner is just too easy!
Nonetheless, it is exactly what I did, FOR YEARS!
Yup, when my coach asked me why I was unhappy in my relationship then answer was simple:
IT WAS ALL HIS FAULT.
Here is what I told my coach were the issues:
He doesn’t like to talk
He doesn’t seem to care
It just isn’t any good anymore
Kids, jobs, so tired, etc.
Here is what I DIDN’T tell my coach
I had stopped having sex with him
I never listened completely when he talked to me
I wasn’t taking care of myself at all
UH-OH! Those issues weren’t his, they were mine. My coach had the most counter-intuitive idea (to me) but it worked like a charm.
She told me to clean up my sleeping and eating and exercise habits and put me in a plan to do just that. Immediately, I felt better, happier, and more capable of saving my marriage. I also started to feel sexier and, because I stopped using food for comfort, numbing and pleasure, I had to start looking to my husband for those things.
When I say the results were immediate, I mean it. Because, sure the weight loss and vitality were great, but what was truly priceless was this: I got my sense of my own power back! I took charge of my happiness and well-being and everything else flowed from there.
Taking care of your side of the street is definitely priority #1. So if you haven’t self-assessed, here is the “Current Reality” Quiz again. Get to it!
But, even when you take care of your side of the street, relationships can go bad. Next week I am going to talk about THE MOST common pitfalls couples run into and why they lead to that LOVE FADING phenomenon!
See you soon LOVERS!
P.S. Don’t forget to watch this before the holidays, and share it with anyone who can use it! My new video, Ensuring Holiday Happiness:
Want to Stop the Blame Game and Start Feeling Better?
If you’re stuck pointing fingers in your relationship, it might be time to look inward. The good news? That’s where your real power lives.
✅ Discover how to take control of your side of the street
✅ Rebuild connection by shifting your focus to what you can change
✅ Learn the real key to feeling sexy, happy, and hopeful again
👉 Watch the free Master the Art of Love webinar here
Frequently Asked Questions about Whose Fault It Is in a Relationship
1. How do I know if I’m the problem?
Start by asking: Have I stopped showing up fully? Am I taking care of myself physically, emotionally, and sexually? If not, you might be more involved in the issue than you think.
2. But what if my partner really is being a jerk?
They might be—but your best chance at shifting things is still starting with yourself. When you change, the dynamic often changes too.
3. How does taking care of myself help my relationship?
When you feel good, you’re more likely to show up with love and curiosity instead of blame. That shift can reignite intimacy and dissolve resentment.
4. Isn’t this just letting my partner off the hook?
Nope. You’re just focusing on the one thing you can control: you. And paradoxically, that often invites your partner to rise up and meet you.
5. What’s the first step to take today?
Take the Current Reality Quiz to see where you stand. Then watch the free webinar and get your next right steps.