Are you so resigned about dating that you’re asking yourself if it’s even worth it?

I get it. A lot of women who come to me are exhausted by past relationships, overwhelmed by careers, families, and the true time suck of swiping left and right on online dating sites.

The myth that older men only want to date younger women is understandably upsetting to older women.

But, just because you’ve heard it a hundred times (or have seen it play out on social media and in bad rom-coms) doesn’t mean it’s a universal truth. 

At our age we’ve come to understand we don’t NEED a partner.

You’ve spent plenty of time without one and you are okay.

If you feel unsafe dating, that’s fair. The online dating world is filled with wonderful potential partners, but it also has its fair share of red flags. Scammers, fraudsters, and people with bad intentions do exist, but that doesn’t mean you should live in fear. Healthy relationships start with smart choices, and that includes making sure your first date and beyond are safe experiences.

If you have been working hard at dating or even just on yourself, to change your past patterns and you haven’t found success there may be a very important step you are overlooking.

A few days ago I found myself saying something for the 3rd time in a week to a 50+ woman who was trying to get back into dating.

“It’s not about whether or not YOU are good enough.”

SINGLE MOMS: I’ll give you the bottom line first: A person who doesn’t think your kid(s) is a value add to life itself is not YOUR soulmate!

What happens if you are not OVER your divorce?

You need DIVORCE DETOXIFICATION!

Remember when I talked about “the click”?

It’s when you finally know you are ready to find your soulmate. You’ve stopped whining, resisting and fearing the process or the result.

What’s the click?

It’s that moment when you go from being a victim of your past failures in love to being the author of a brave new chapter of love-hunting!

There are millions of unhappy single people in the world and I don’t want you to be one of them!

My first answer is, dating is an honest job and you DO need to be willing to put in the work. Finding your soulmate does take time and a good attitude, like any other important accomplishment.

It’s not marriage…but, deciding to get committed is a big step!

You’re taking yourself off the market and that is a real risk.

So, make sure you’ve done your homework!

Thank you for being you. Thank you for being vulnerable and dreaming of a healthy love that lasts.

Thank you for keeping your heart open and seeking help and inspiration.

Follow these steps for success on Valentine’s Day.

1) Write down how you want to feel on Valentine’s Day.

2) Share what you wrote with your mate and ask them how they want to feel on Valentine’s Day..

It’s a new year and I hope lasting healthy love is on the top of your list of goals for the year!

If so, here is your checklist for preparation:

If you are looking for New Year’s resolutions for your love life, take this quiz!

Are you showing up the way you want to show up? If not, this quiz will give you some very good ideas for improvement.

Here is your end of the year exercise. I never miss doing it myself and it works every time!

Answer the following, in writing!

FAQ: What are boundaries I can implement in dating to establish my ideal relationship?

ANSWER: These 4 things:

No two people want the same thing from their holiday or vacation. Have you discussed what’s most important?

If you haven’t, you can expect these 3 outcomes: