A Guide To Dating As A Single Mom: Happy Mother's Day
SINGLE MOMS: I’ll give you the bottom line first: A person who doesn’t think your kid(s) is a value add to life itself is not YOUR soulmate!
I WANT you to scare off a potential mate who doesn’t think your kid is a value add, or who hasn't proven they will be a value add for your kid’s life, sooner rather than later.
So, bring it up in a video chat before you even have a first date.
Happy Mother’s Day, this quick list of tips is my gift to you.
It is hard being a single mom and it’s even harder to date effectively and joyfully when you are one.
You have a lot to worry about:
Will he be ok if I have kids?
Will he be great with my kids?
Will my kids like him?
What if I get a babysitter then he cancels?
When should I tell him?
When should I introduce him?
How do I have sleepovers?
What if he disagrees with how I parent? What if I disagree with how he parents?
Here’s hope! A lot of single moms find love and it’s a value add ALL AROUND!
Step 1: Vetting your potential mate for compatibility.
Step 2: Getting to know your potential mate really well and finding out if he’s a keeper. No introductions before that!
Step 3: Introductions, but only when you’re sure the mate will be around for a long time and you are sure your kid is ready!
Young kids especially get attached, and you need to protect them from the roller coaster that new love is. That’s why you need to wait a long time, and watch and listen for cues that your kid is ready to meet them.
Step 4: Choosing a neutral ground for a meeting, like a meal out. Keep it very casual and low pressure, a short meeting, just like a first date.
Remember: no pressuring your kids to like your new mate. It’s not their job to approve of whom you choose! Trust has to be earned, just like it did with you.
This may seem like it will take a lot of patience and thoughtfulness, it will!
Remember, you are building your dream of a happy, healthy, loving family and that takes time and consideration. But boy, does it pay off!
If you’re worried your kids won’t approve of your new mate, concentrate on 2 things:
1) Being a be a happy person and showing it. Your kids want and need to see you happy. If your new mate is making you happy, your kids will trust them.
2) Make sure you are still very present for your kids. You will need to help them explore their feelings about your break up with their other parent. Finally, please ensure they do not feel the need to compete for time or attention with your new love.
I hope this quick list of tips helps you navigate dating as a single mom more easily. You have a really tough job and all I want to do is help!
If you need ongoing support, consider joining “Master the Art of Love,” it comes with group coaching and an amazing group of women to cheer you on!
Love,
