Top 5 Mistakes Women Make in Dating and How to Avoid Them
I’m going to try to keep this one brief. In order to be happy in dating, and in your long term love life, you need to be satisfying all 3 of your internal voters (your 3Hs)!
YOUR HEAD: Things have to work for your life practically. You have to be compatible in terms of the workability of your lives together. Your dreams better synergize and integrate well!
YOUR HEART: It needs to feel good. Your emotional needs (for attention, romance, cuddles, honesty, humor, music etc.) need to be met
YOUR HOO-HA: You need to be attracted. You have to want to kiss the person!
So….
MISTAKE #1: SAYING YES WHEN YOU MEAN NO!!
Stop saying “Yes” when you mean “No.” If the person doesn't meet the needs of your head, heart, and hoo-ha, abort the mission!
MISTAKE #2: GOING ON A LIVE DATE BEFORE A VIDEO VET!
When someone wants to sleep with you, regardless of whether or not your 3Hs align, they will push for a physical meeting quickly. No–have a quick video date first. See if there is mutual attraction in real life, before wasting time, money, and mascara on an in-person date!
MISTAKE #3: TEXTING ABOUT MORE THAN JUST SIMPLE LOGISTICS
When you first meet online, it’s tempting to start a relationship based on texting, which seems less vulnerable and “something to do.” You can fantasize about what it could be, rather than get the show on the road to see if this really is the right person for you. But to learn that, you need to have many real, live conversations…NOT TEXTS!
Stop texting when you should be talking in real life and determining if you are a good match.
MISTAKE #4: PUTTING OUT TOO EARLY
Some women think they can get things to be more serious by having sex early on in dating a new person. Some people think they need to test that chemistry early on. NO!! Nobody ever regrets waiting. If you’re both hot for each other, waiting should make it even better.
If you are TRYING to make someone hot for you by putting out–they may sleep with you but you won’t be getting what you really want and you will be way more likely to bond (that’s science) and then be more sad when it doesn’t turn out.
If you are looking for your forever person, I recommend taking sex off the table until all 3Hs are singing the happiest of tunes on both sides and you’ve agreed to be monogamous (or happily flinging with each other) and had all the appropriate sober pre-sex talks!
I have no moral issues with sex whenever and wherever you want, as you should well know by now; but if you are angling against heartbreak, and trying to be efficient and delighted with dating, this rule works!
MISTAKE #5: FAKING ANYTHING TO MAKE SOMEONE LIKE YOU
Your person (as in “your one”) wants you. If they don’t want you, they are not your person! If you try to be something you’re not to make a person like you, you’re in a pickle even if you succeed- because then that is not the real you!
Don’t pretend to be low-maintenance, or like sports or be demure or like their music or want kids or anything!! Pretending is exhausting and….unnecessary, thank goodness! I do not care how messed up your parents were or how crappy you’ve been at love, there is someone for you if you are willing to do the work to find them…but make sure it’s the REAL YOU on the hunt!
