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I Found a Better Purpose for My Marriage, Have You?

January 25, 2022

In the last newsletter (if you missed it, check out the Blog), I emphasized the importance of understanding the purpose of your union and walked you through the exercise of determining your purpose. I hope you did your homework!

I promised I would give you some examples of purposes from former clients, and here they are:


Purpose:

In this example you see how they rank their priorities, in descending order of importance: family, legacy/ society/ community, intimacy, and then home.

Animated reaction: accompanying: In this example you see how they rank their priorities, in descending order of

Here is another:

Purpose:

Once you see what your current purpose is, you can invent a new purpose, based on your dreams vs. your upbringing.

My original purpose for my marriage boiled down to:

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I upgraded that, with coaching, to the improved purpose for my union:

In order to articulate what I really wanted in my relationship, I had to think about the purpose of the relationship, and the values I wanted the relationship to embody.

We’ve talked about purpose, now let’s discuss values.

According to Cambridge English Dictionary: Values are "the principles that help you to decide what is right and wrong, and how to act in various situations".

I ask clients to write the values of their union, in order of importance, just like you did with the “purpose” exercise above.

I’ll tell you the most popular Values my clients listed, next week, but first you have to do the exercise at home.

Animated reaction: accompanying: I’ll tell you the most popular Values my clients listed, next week, but first you have to
  1. Take out a blank sheet of paper, or open a spreadsheet, and list the values that are most important in your union.
  2. Pick only your top 5-10. You could consider things like Loyalty, Honesty, Fun, Romance, Respect, etc.
  3. Put them in order from most to least important.
  4. Ask your mate to do the same exercise.
  5. Have a special date in which you share your answers with each other, and notice commonalities and differences.

Check out next week’s newsletter for my personal BEFORE/AFTER values, as well as the most popular values across the land!

‘Til next week, lovers!
xoxoxo. 🥰

Want a Marriage That Feels Like a Dream?

Stop defaulting to outdated roles or inherited beliefs. Start building a relationship rooted in your values and purpose.

✅ Discover the real reason you're in your relationship
✅ Upgrade your marriage from “fine” to “freakin’ fantastic”
✅ Align your purpose with your partner's—for real connection

👉 Watch the free Master the Art of Love webinar here

Love,

Laurie’s handwritten signature with a small heart.

Frequently Asked Questions about Marriage Purpose and Values

1. What if my partner and I have totally different purposes or values?

That’s actually pretty common. The goal isn’t to match exactly but to get curious and explore where you can align. You might discover powerful new purpose statements that feel better to both of you.

2. Can I do this even if my marriage is struggling?

Yes. In fact, this kind of deep, values-based clarity is often what turns things around. It shifts focus from problems to possibility.

3. What if my original purpose sounds kind of… embarrassing?

Good! That means you’re being honest. Most people start from places like fear, image, or obligation. Once you see it clearly, you can choose something better.

4. How often should we revisit our marriage purpose and values?

Once a year is a great rhythm. It keeps your relationship evolving as you grow. Try doing it around your anniversary or the new year.

5. Is this exercise helpful for people who aren’t married yet?

Absolutely. Knowing your purpose and values before you commit can help you choose the right partner—and build a foundation that lasts.