I Found a Better Purpose for My Marriage, Have You?
In the last newsletter (if you missed it, check out the Blog), I emphasized the importance of understanding the purpose of your union and walked you through the exercise of determining your purpose. I hope you did your homework!
I promised I would give you some examples of purposes from former clients, and here they are:
Purpose:
Stable safe environment and provide for family
Build a family legacy
Help bond society, civilize society
Share your life
Someone you can trust with all things
Divide and conquer responsibilities of home ownership
In this example you see how they rank their priorities, in descending order of importance: family, legacy/ society/ community, intimacy, and then home.
Here is another:
Purpose:
Unconditional love
Sharing the ride
Raising a family
Share the burden of parenting
Example to society
Once you see what your current purpose is, you can invent a new purpose, based on your dreams vs. your upbringing.
My original purpose for my marriage boiled down to:
Avoid loneliness
Enable parenting
Look good to the neighbors
I upgraded that, with coaching, to the improved purpose for my union:
Mutual support in dreams
Amazing example to our kids of love/partnership
Passionate love affair
Learning for life
Hot sex
Grow each other up/back each other up
Mutual support in parenting (implied in #1)
In order to articulate what I really wanted in my relationship, I had to think about the purpose of the relationship, and the values I wanted the relationship to embody.
We’ve talked about purpose, now let’s discuss values.
According to Cambridge English Dictionary: Values are "the principles that help you to decide what is right and wrong, and how to act in various situations".
I ask clients to write the values of their union, in order of importance, just like you did with the “purpose” exercise above.
I’ll tell you the most popular Values my clients listed, next week, but first you have to do the exercise at home.
Take out a blank sheet of paper, or open a spreadsheet, and list the values that are most important in your union.
Pick only your top 5-10. You could consider things like Loyalty, Honesty, Fun, Romance, Respect, etc.
Put them in order from most to least important.
Ask your mate to do the same exercise.
Have a special date in which you share your answers with each other, and notice commonalities and differences.
Post a comment in the blog if you have a question, or bring your discoveries to the next Love-in community meeting if you’re a member.
If you are not a member: JOIN US!
Check out next week’s newsletter for my personal BEFORE/AFTER values, as well as the most popular values across the land! In the meantime, RSVP now for my FREE Valentine's Day LIVE webinar event on Feb 9th by clicking on the graphic below. Seats are limited.
Event Closed
‘Til next week, lovers!
xoxoxo. 🥰
