Charm, Don’t Spook Them: 4 Essential First Date Tips Revealed! 🎃

OCTOBER: the spookiest month in which to date! 

Yes, in those early dates your nerves are tingling, you may get chills up your spine or goosebumps. I hope all of that happens: IN A GOOD WAY!

October is a magical month for dating and I want the best of it for you. But sometimes you unintentionally cast a scary spell on your date and send your potential mate running. 

Here are the tips to keep your first dates bewitching without the fright factor.

1. No Costumes

This is a metaphor of course. Be yourself. Pretending to me someone you’re not is fun for kids, pretending to be someone you're not (whether it’s pretending to be casual or to like dogs!) will scare away your actual right match! 

In my method of coaching, we don’t let our freak flags, or other people’s, freak us out! We believe in waving them so everyone knows who they belong with.

2. Avoid Ghosting
   
Tell the truth at the end of the date about whether or not you want another one. If you don’t want one, say “it was lovely meeting you but I don’t think we’re a match.”

If you do, attempt to plan the next date so you walk away knowing. If they won’t plan it, or they kick the can down the road, you got your answer. If they say no, say a clean goodbye and appreciate the clarity. 

You never need to stay friends with someone you are attracted to, it literally blocks the path on which your actual "one" is arriving. One of you will eventually ghost, so make a clean break once either of you figures out it’s not a match.

3. Leave Your Haunts in the Past
  
Do you ever feel like the ghost of lovers-past is on a date with you? If you can’t stop bringing up your ex, you need help.

4. Don’t Scare Them with Speed

In early dating, pacing is key! If you are moving too fast, it’s a sign of desperation or insecurity. If you are with the person that is meant for you, it is going to turn out, and you do not need to RUSH or CRAM.

You have to earn the trust that goes with revealing one’s innermost thoughts and feelings--and sexual intimacy. This happens most healthfully over time.

If you really like someone 2-3 dates a week is plenty and talking over phone or video. If you’re not sure, 1 date a week is plenty! Be mindful, you can’t mess it up with the one.

Please go ye forth and get more treats than tricks this spooky season!

Want More Treats Than Tricks This Dating Season?

First dates shouldn’t be scary. My free training will help you show up authentically, avoid ghosting drama, and attract someone who actually gets you.

✅ Learn how to charm without pretending or performing
✅ Master the art of clean communication from date one
✅ Avoid the biggest first-date mistakes that spook the right people away

👉 Watch here

Frequently Asked Questions about First Dates and Not Spooking the Right People

1. What does “no costumes” mean in dating?

It means don’t pretend to be someone you’re not—don’t fake being casual, super outdoorsy, or fine with something you’re not. Authenticity is way more attractive than trying to “fit” what you think they want.

2. Why is ghosting such a problem in modern dating?

Because it leaves people confused and doubting themselves. Saying clearly “yes” or “no” after a date is kind, confident, and freeing for both people. Clarity is sexy—and it opens the door to the real deal.

3. How do I avoid bringing past relationships into a new one?

Practice staying in the present. If your ex comes up often in conversation or thoughts, it may be time to get support and fully process that relationship. Your future love deserves your full attention.

4. What’s the right pace for early dating?

Go slower than you want to. Two to three dates per week is plenty if you’re both interested. More than that can create false intimacy before trust is built. Let things unfold naturally—it’s not a race.

5. Can I mess it up with the right person?

Not if you're being honest, thoughtful, and true to yourself. The right person will meet you where you are. You don’t need to rush or perform—you just need to stay grounded and open.

P.S.

Why did the vampire go on a date in October?
Because he heard it was a "fang"-tastic time for romance! 🧛‍♂️🌕