4 Tips for Positioning Negative Feedback So it Can be Heard
Do people get defensive when you give them negative feedback?
Here are 4 tips on how to position negative feedback so the person listening can really hear it!
1. Say why you want to give the feedback first.
For example, “I want to get us on the same page.” or “ I want to make sure XYZ really goes how we both want it to.
2. Own your part.
For example: “I am sorry I didn’t bring this up sooner.” For more on this refer to last week's blog about 8 ways to own your part.
3. Instead of accusing, state clearly what you are experiencing and feeling.
After that, say what you are making up about it. For example: “I’m nervous about our upcoming trip and I’m telling myself you don’t want to plan it out with me. I’d really like to get planning. It will help me relax.”
4. Ask for their perspective nicely.
You could say something like: “Does what I am saying make any sense? Are you up for sitting down and doing some planning with me?”
Did you notice that almost none of the above outline contains what seems like negative feedback?
What if you could transform all the stuff you complain about in your head, or to your friends, into this format of conversation?
Maybe the people in your life would listen, learn, and do better at collaborating with you!
Try it!
Check out my Instagram reel on the topic, linked below, with more examples for you!
If you need more support you'll love Module #9 in Inner.U Life, my online digital coaching program that basically teaches you how to fix any problem.
