I Finally Did it 💪🏼
On January 1st, 2021, I made a promise to myself, and on Wednesday, December 15th, 2021, I kept that promise–for the first time in my life.
I’m going to tell you all about it, as a way to talk about making your year end powerfully and meaningfully.
I've struggled with my birthday throughout my life. Here’s what I hate:
It comes at the most hectic time of year: mid-December.
I want attention, but also I don’t want it.
I feel a lot of pressure to really chill, enjoy and feel ALL the love on one day.
It’s hard for me to be truly happy on vacations, weekends, and special occasions. I seem to be triggered by days which are supposed to be treasured, and which have extra pressure on them.
Anyone having any of those coming up?
Well this past January first, I made this promise to myself: I AM GOING TO ACE MY BIRTHDAY!
Yes, I designed this 348 days in advance, and on December 15th, I made it happen, after so many years of getting it wrong.
What would I do wrong in the past?
Overwhelm myself planning an experience for my friends, and then worry the whole time about whether they liked it.
Let someone else plan the party, but let the toasts go awry (one year my kids roasted me→ funny, but not what I had hoped for!)
3. As recently as last year, I invited friends to a Zoom gathering and said something airy like “come if you can.” What I meant to say was, “definitely show up.”
They didn’t.
Even with a lot of effort, I can fail, which is a great example of appearing to do the work for my dream as a cover for NOT DOING THE WORK!
Finally, this year I got it right.
Specifically:
I articulated what was most important to me: A spacious lightly planned day, with unstructured time to connect with those I wanted to. And, a very specific cake. Love me some cake. 🍰
I planned the day: Exercise and meditation in the morning, lunch with mom, two hours of walking and calling my friends, dinner with the family, and plenty of time throughout the day to check social media and answer texts, and absorb love like a big ol’ love sponge. 🥰
I lined up the gifts I wanted: by asking in advance for exactly what I wanted, from people I knew would want to give those things! 🎁
So, this covers the designing and connection, but there was one last thing I had to mitigate: the dark forces! 😈 What I mean is…
I had to monitor my mind.
Because I am uncomfortable with relaxing, I tend to find something to worry about, or, said another way: I CREATE DRAMA!
As early as seven AM, I could feel myself getting edgy over a text I received, but I caught it! I recognized it’s familiarity, and I stopped it consciously. Then I made a game of keeping this tendency at bay all day, and staying focused on how I wanted to feel, and what I wanted to do.
I didn’t focus on what others like to do, what I thought I was supposed to do, or what I have wanted in the past. I focused on the truth of my desires NOW! This year, I wanted to conquer my mind’s bad habits, simple connections, and some very specific presents and cake!
Next year, it might be different! And I will rinse and repeat!
What special day do you have coming up? Have you done the work?
Answer these questions:
What do you want?
What extra time will you need?
What plans need to be made?
Who do you have to ask for what?
My last hot tip is to ask the right people for what you want. A rookie mistake is asking the wrong people to help you make the occasion what you want it to be. Choose whom you ask carefully, because it matters!
I wish you the most joyous and love-filled New Year. I can’t wait to celebrate with you in 2022!