Father’s Day Re-Imagined
I am writing to people with fathers or without fathers.
Imagine the father you wish you’d had. What’s he like? What traits does he have? How does he talk to you, think about you, behold you?
I am asking you to use your beautiful human imagination and conjure the best of fatherhood, for you, and then feel into it. What is it like?
I am not saying this to upset you, or malign your father.
In fact, maybe your father embodies the very traits you are imagining… and if so, what a beautiful thing! Acknowledge this and be grateful.
For everyone else, ask yourself who provides these characteristics in your life. For some of us it’s a stepfather, uncle, grandfather, friend or public figure. It could even be someone deceased or imaginary.
Today is a day to be present to them on purpose, acknowledge and thank them.
Now, how have you provided the ideal characteristics of a father to others? I bet you have. Stop, pause, acknowledge yourself. Be grateful to you. You are part of a cosmic give and take, a flow that seeks balance and love.
At the same time, acknowledge that society has and is fucking over women, big time. Society is also fucking over men. If your father came from a war-torn place, poverty, violence or famine, they are likely even more fucked. And yet you are here, due to their fathering.
Let’s liberate our actual father from the expectations we barely fulfill ourselves. Let’s liberate them from comparison to what we wish we had, or what we think our friends had, and this Father’s Day, get to know your father, or father figure. Who are they? What did they go through?
Seek to understand before being understood. After all, you are the next generation. Think of it like iPhone versions. Of course, you are more advanced, more emotionally intelligent; you have the benefits of societal evolution and resources that weren’t available to them. It’s your job to show the generation before you how it’s done. Want more listening, more understanding? Give it, this Father’s Day.
Let’s reclaim the holiday. Let’s design it to honor what fatherhood could be and to celebrate the elements in our life. Let’s honor and thank those who’ve been fatherly to us, by learning more about who they are.
Think for yourself…
Hallmark doesn’t own you.
Jealousy doesn’t own you.
Regret doesn’t own you.
The past doesn’t own you.
Your father’s failures don’t own you.
You can reclaim anything you want, and holidays are a great time to do it.
