The Top 3 Dating Dealbreakers To Watch Out For

Dating can be a lot of fun, but it can also be a rollercoaster ride.

You meet someone new, and you’re excited to see where things might go.

But then, something happens that makes you realize that maybe this person isn’t the right match–it’s called a deal breaker!

Here are the top 3 deal breakers I’ve seen in 20 years of coaching daters:

1. The person turns out not to be who they said they were

Maybe they lied about their age, or their job, or even their relationship status. Whatever it is, it’s a major red flag. If someone isn't honest with you from the beginning, they won't be honest in the long run either.

So, what can you do to avoid this deal breaker?

The key is to test out authenticity (and all the other details your potential date has claimed to be true) with a video chat. If the person thinks you’re a good match and enjoys chatting with you (and values honesty), they will happily agree to be witnessed in their life through a video chat before meeting in person.

If they respect you they will respect your need for extra layers of security and vetting and be happy to answer (and ask) questions over video or phone til the cows come home.

Just kidding, until both of you feel it’s worthwhile to put the time, money and effort into meeting in person.

There are two other ways to avoid this pitfall:

• Be honest about yourself and your life

• Ask a lot of good juicy open-ended questions

2. You’re not really attracted to the person

Attraction is a crucial component of any relationship. Stop denying it. Most people know if they are attracted within 90 seconds of meeting someone new. Yes, it can grow, but that’s not the smartest bet to take.

So, what can you do to navigate this deal breaker?

If you’re going to “wait and see” if the heat grows, set a deadline with certain things you will accomplish by then: testing the kissing, telling the other person your concerns.

Do not let it go more than a few weeks if the heat is not rising. It’s just not fair to the other person, much less yourself!

3. They don’t want what you want right now

Maybe you’re looking for a serious relationship, but they’re just interested in something casual. Or maybe they’re ready to settle down, but you’re not quite there yet. Abort the mission and save SO MUCH HEARTACHE!

It’s okay that you aren’t at the same place at the same time–it just means that person is not “your one.” Trust it.

It’s not that one of you couldn’t change, it’s just, once again, this isn’t a good bet. If that person really is “your one” they will circle back later when you’re both in the same place about what you want.

My job as your dating coach is to keep you alert and aware of the common pitfalls and squarely trusting your own inner knowing about what you want and what you are attracting?