4 Must Ask Questions for YOU after your FIRST date
Do you ever end up dating someone longer than you should?
Do you watch your friends TRY to make it work only to entangle themselves with not-the-one for ages?
There is a solution!
And…it’s better VETTING!
Just kidding, it's the other kind of vetting.
I have been coaching people in dating for the last 20 years and some protocols after each date make a world of difference.
Do you ask yourself these 4 Questions after every first date?
Does this person make sense for your life?
Do they live somewhere geographically desirable? Do they want a long term relationship? Do they see kids/no kids in their future? How about monogamy?
Were you intrigued? In other words –Do you want to know more?
If you were bored, that’s not a good sign. The first date should spark interest and curiosity– not just lust– if the person is a good match.
Would you let this person meet your friends?
A lot of people persist in dating someone who should fit the bill or to whom they are very attracted. That’s not enough for lasting love. If you couldn’t imagine wanting to introduce your date to your friends, beware! Abort the mission.
Could you imagine wanting to kiss this person?
I am not saying you have to want to kiss, or that you should, kiss on the first date. I am just saying you have to be able to imagine wanting to. If you can’t see it at all, abort the mission. If you really want to, great!
Folks, it’s not easy to date like you mean it, truly honoring the needs of your head, heart and hoo-ha, but it is formulaic. And I am giving you the components. So use ‘em.
Ready to Date Smarter, Not Longer? Start With the Right Questions
If you're tired of wasting time on the wrong people, my free webinar will help you build a vetting system that honors your head, heart, and hoo-ha.
✅ Learn what to ask yourself after every first date
✅ Stop second-guessing and start making empowered choices
✅ Use your early instincts to avoid long-term entanglements
Frequently Asked Questions about Vetting After the First Date
1. Why do I need to ask myself questions after a date?
Because reflection helps you stay clear and intentional. Without it, you might fall into old patterns, ignore red flags, or keep dating someone who isn’t aligned—just because it feels familiar or easy.
2. What if someone checks the logical boxes but I’m not excited?
That’s a signal. Lasting love requires both compatibility and curiosity. If there’s no spark of intrigue—no desire to know more—it’s worth considering whether you’re just forcing a fit.
3. Should I expect to feel chemistry right away?
Not necessarily, but you should be able to imagine wanting to kiss them at some point. If that feels impossible, don’t ignore it. Physical attraction doesn’t always need to be instant, but it does need to be possible.
4. Why does introducing them to my friends matter so early?
It’s a quick gut-check. If the idea makes you cringe or hide, something’s off. Your friends are a stand-in for your values—if you wouldn’t bring your date into that circle, listen to that instinct.
5. What if I keep ignoring these questions and dating the wrong people?
Then it’s time to slow down and get support. You don’t have to figure this out alone. Tools, structure, and community (like what’s inside my course) can help you stay accountable and make better picks.
