Is the Division of Labor Fair in Your Household? 🙋♀️
I’ll be frank, the patriarchy is really getting on my nerves. There are other battle cries I could sound right now, but given Labor Day tomorrow, this is the one that’s bothering me.
Too much of the work falls to women. Period.
I have heard the complaint over and over from my clients, and I also know the data. (Google tells me over 76% of worldwide household work is being done by women and I want to cry). And sadly it’s not because a tradeoff is happening. Women are surpassing men in everything else too-academics, success in business, even athletics.
If you are reading this and you know things are not fair in your household, I want you to do something to change it. It’s not just good for the women in the household: Justice is literally good for EVERYONE in the household.
Sometimes you just have to be able to see it in black and white.
So…
Make a chart of all the household/family duties, including all the chores of course, making money and caring for the emotional needs of children, elders and pets.
Make a column for everyone in the household and put a check to indicate who is responsible for what.
Notice how unfair it is.
Negotiate solutions.
Sometimes a simple request will work, and you can switch your duty to someone else. Sometimes more creative solutions will be necessary, or the family can decide to let the thing go altogether if the primary laborer is simply too taxed.
It’s time to get honest with yourself, and your loved ones, if you are doing too much. Everyone’s happiness in the household depends upon it!
For more on how to complain productively, check out this blog: How to Be Successful at the Bandaid Trade
Here are some tips for positioning negative feedback so it can be heard.
Here is info on how to set your hard conversations up for success!
Finally, here are some tips on how to listen.
